So this afternoon I am on my way home and I stop at Taco Bell to pick up a quick bite as I have a headache because I haven't had anything to eat all day. I ordered myself three soft tacos supreme and one of those new fully loaded Steak Salads for my husband. It took forever to get through the line but I was fine with that.
What I am not fine with is when I get home and look at my husbands food the tortilla salad bowl isn't even a quarter full. There was barely anything in there especially not 6 bucks worth. I was so steaming mad but I live 15 minutes out of town so I was not driving all the way back to town to get a refund.
Maybe this is me being a bit harsh because I am mad. But Seriously how hard is it to master the art of Taco bell? If you can't manage that then I got news for you boys and girls your future is not looking too bright.....Seriously with a repression going on you think these people would be trying a little harder to be better at their jobs.
But nope not here. Our town is full of little rich snobby kids who are spoiled by mommy and daddy so they don't think their jobs are important. It is just a social thing for them to hang out and joke around for a few hours a night during the week. Needless to say Taco Bell has lost my business for awhile....
-Candeh
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Something you should know.
When I started this blog I had every intention of not using any real names in the blog, but seeing as I have already broken that promise I might as well make some corrections.
My husbands name is not Mark it is actually Chris. My kids are actually Ally and Aidan. ( Sally and Ben clever huh? Okay so not really.) While Candeh is not the name most call me I do use it with certain people. My real name is Candace although most people call me Nikki for my middle name Nicole.
But sense we are used to Candeh that is how we are going to keep it. Everything has been the truth just the names were changed except for the recent mentions of Eddie and Debbie those were their real names.
There is one more thing I want to mention. Eddie had no life insurance and he was the bread winner for the family. So donations are being taken up to help with the expenses of burying him and if anyone would like to help even if it is only a dollar, every little bit helps. Your donations can be mailed to
General Warehousing & Inspection
61 McKnight Drive, Lexington, TN, 38351
ATTN: Julie Wagner.
Okay so now that we have all that out of the way. I read one of my books last night. It was titled You've been Warned. By James Patterson & Howard Roughan. It liked it very much another thrilling tale from JP.
The story is of a young woman twenty six years old named Kristin Burns. Kristin is a Photographer waiting to be discovered and in her mean time a baby sitter for a very wealthy New York family. She cares for two children a five year old boy Sean and an older girl Sibling Dakota.
She has been with the family for two years and loves the children dearly. But the mother who isn't the biological mother is a bitch to say the least. Snobby, rich, skinny and mean as a snake. But Kristin has found comfort in her affair with the Wicked Witches husband Micheal. Things seem to be going okay for Kristin until things start happening that she doesn't understand.
She witnesses an event at a Hotel that has obvious meaning to her that to the rest of the world hasn't yet occurred. She starts to meet people from her past and people she had never met only to find out some of them were deceased. Things seems to spiral out of control and it seems there is nothing she can do about it.
The tale of Kristin and her forbidden love and the warnings of the deceased and living kept me glued into the book all night and I couldn't stop reading until it was finished. So if you need a good book to stimulate your mind and get your imagination flowing this thriller is definitely what you need. You've been Warned.
Tonight I hope to start and finish another book by James Patterson & Howard Roughan titled SAIL Hopefully I will be able to let you know in the morning how it is. Well for now I am off for a rest from the computer screen. Toodles!
-Candeh
My husbands name is not Mark it is actually Chris. My kids are actually Ally and Aidan. ( Sally and Ben clever huh? Okay so not really.) While Candeh is not the name most call me I do use it with certain people. My real name is Candace although most people call me Nikki for my middle name Nicole.
But sense we are used to Candeh that is how we are going to keep it. Everything has been the truth just the names were changed except for the recent mentions of Eddie and Debbie those were their real names.
There is one more thing I want to mention. Eddie had no life insurance and he was the bread winner for the family. So donations are being taken up to help with the expenses of burying him and if anyone would like to help even if it is only a dollar, every little bit helps. Your donations can be mailed to
General Warehousing & Inspection
61 McKnight Drive, Lexington, TN, 38351
ATTN: Julie Wagner.
Okay so now that we have all that out of the way. I read one of my books last night. It was titled You've been Warned. By James Patterson & Howard Roughan. It liked it very much another thrilling tale from JP.
The story is of a young woman twenty six years old named Kristin Burns. Kristin is a Photographer waiting to be discovered and in her mean time a baby sitter for a very wealthy New York family. She cares for two children a five year old boy Sean and an older girl Sibling Dakota.
She has been with the family for two years and loves the children dearly. But the mother who isn't the biological mother is a bitch to say the least. Snobby, rich, skinny and mean as a snake. But Kristin has found comfort in her affair with the Wicked Witches husband Micheal. Things seem to be going okay for Kristin until things start happening that she doesn't understand.
She witnesses an event at a Hotel that has obvious meaning to her that to the rest of the world hasn't yet occurred. She starts to meet people from her past and people she had never met only to find out some of them were deceased. Things seems to spiral out of control and it seems there is nothing she can do about it.
The tale of Kristin and her forbidden love and the warnings of the deceased and living kept me glued into the book all night and I couldn't stop reading until it was finished. So if you need a good book to stimulate your mind and get your imagination flowing this thriller is definitely what you need. You've been Warned.
Tonight I hope to start and finish another book by James Patterson & Howard Roughan titled SAIL Hopefully I will be able to let you know in the morning how it is. Well for now I am off for a rest from the computer screen. Toodles!
-Candeh
Thank you Eddie.
This one isn't going to be very long but I just had a crazy dream during a nap yet it was comforting and I needed to share it with someone so guess what you guys are it!
So we are at work at the shop and the whole gang is there including Eddie. We are getting ready to leave for the night and I wrap my arms around Eddie and give him the biggest hug ever. He giggled in that silly way he did and said " What's that for?" and then I told him "It's because I know this is a dream and when I wake up you will be dead again." and he replied just as cool as cucumber " I know Hun."
It was so real I could feel him I could smell his cologne he always wore. Every mole on his face was accounted for, it was so damn real. As I held on tight I told him that we all missed the hell out of him and that we loved him. He smiled at me and hugged me back and said it's okay I am okay.
Then it was like the dream changed like it fast forwarded and no one could see him but me. Big Debbie( Note this woman is skinny as a rail but we have two ladies named Debbie and she is taller so we call her big Deb.) is talking about how Eddie would love a pretty night like this with the stars out and the crickets chirping. I can still see him and hear him but they couldn't. He smiled at me one last time and gave me one of those winks and I started to hear music.
About 20 seconds later I realized it was my phone and I was now waking up. Now all I really wanna do is go back to sleep so I can ask him all the things I wanted to. But I know that the dream will probably go the same way if I have it again. No questions just hugs and tears.
I am not sure if it makes me superstitious but I choose to believe he was there, he was there to let me know he is okay and we can stop hurting for him. I choose to believe that it was his way of saying things are going to be alright. And you know what next time I see him in my dreams I owe him a big Thank you.
-Candeh
So we are at work at the shop and the whole gang is there including Eddie. We are getting ready to leave for the night and I wrap my arms around Eddie and give him the biggest hug ever. He giggled in that silly way he did and said " What's that for?" and then I told him "It's because I know this is a dream and when I wake up you will be dead again." and he replied just as cool as cucumber " I know Hun."
It was so real I could feel him I could smell his cologne he always wore. Every mole on his face was accounted for, it was so damn real. As I held on tight I told him that we all missed the hell out of him and that we loved him. He smiled at me and hugged me back and said it's okay I am okay.
Then it was like the dream changed like it fast forwarded and no one could see him but me. Big Debbie( Note this woman is skinny as a rail but we have two ladies named Debbie and she is taller so we call her big Deb.) is talking about how Eddie would love a pretty night like this with the stars out and the crickets chirping. I can still see him and hear him but they couldn't. He smiled at me one last time and gave me one of those winks and I started to hear music.
About 20 seconds later I realized it was my phone and I was now waking up. Now all I really wanna do is go back to sleep so I can ask him all the things I wanted to. But I know that the dream will probably go the same way if I have it again. No questions just hugs and tears.
I am not sure if it makes me superstitious but I choose to believe he was there, he was there to let me know he is okay and we can stop hurting for him. I choose to believe that it was his way of saying things are going to be alright. And you know what next time I see him in my dreams I owe him a big Thank you.
-Candeh
Friday, May 1, 2009
TGIF
Friday is finally here thank goodness. This week has been hell. To top off everything that has happened this week another one of our Co workers went to the ER with chest pain Thursday night.
Thankfully they called it Extreme stress and ordered rest. We were all on pins and needles until we heard the news that he was okay.
Tonight we had to work but only a few hours and it happened to be the same part we were doing last Friday night which was our last night with Eddie.
We asked for the radio on and to our surprise a song from his funeral came on and everything went quiet. We have all decided to take it as a sign that he was with us and always will be.
I am really happy this week is coming to a close. I have been having pain in my lower abdomen on my right side since last night and It is so painful.
It doesn't hurt as much as long as I don't move, talk, laugh, or breathe. I am not sure if it is a UT infection, kidney stones, or what but it hurts a lot. I should probably go to the ER but with no insurance it is another bill I can't afford.
So I will rely on Raspberry Tinis and second hand meds to do the job. So for now I am going to bare it because frankly I can't afford to do much else. On a positive note I got to the library Thursday and got two new James Patterson book and I plan to read read read all weekend long.
I love burying myself in a book. So for the ones of you that love a good book I will let you know how they are.
Being as it's Friday and my side is killing me I think I will crawl into bed with one of my books and loose myself in someone Else's tragedy for awhile. Toodles!
-Candeh
Thankfully they called it Extreme stress and ordered rest. We were all on pins and needles until we heard the news that he was okay.
Tonight we had to work but only a few hours and it happened to be the same part we were doing last Friday night which was our last night with Eddie.
We asked for the radio on and to our surprise a song from his funeral came on and everything went quiet. We have all decided to take it as a sign that he was with us and always will be.
I am really happy this week is coming to a close. I have been having pain in my lower abdomen on my right side since last night and It is so painful.
It doesn't hurt as much as long as I don't move, talk, laugh, or breathe. I am not sure if it is a UT infection, kidney stones, or what but it hurts a lot. I should probably go to the ER but with no insurance it is another bill I can't afford.
So I will rely on Raspberry Tinis and second hand meds to do the job. So for now I am going to bare it because frankly I can't afford to do much else. On a positive note I got to the library Thursday and got two new James Patterson book and I plan to read read read all weekend long.
I love burying myself in a book. So for the ones of you that love a good book I will let you know how they are.
Being as it's Friday and my side is killing me I think I will crawl into bed with one of my books and loose myself in someone Else's tragedy for awhile. Toodles!
-Candeh
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Saying GoodBye.
So today was the day. Today we said Goodbye to Eddie for good, and it was hard. It was a very rough day but it was good to finally get it all done and over. I cried all the way through the service and the tears flowed like a river when I put my hand on his and told him goodbye for the last time.
The service was very nice but all too painful. I believe that the dead can hear us and can feel our love and I believe that Eddie was watching over all of us today as we said our Goodbyes, so for the rest of the night I vowed to try and smile because I know he wouldn't have wanted us all crying and mourning. So I did exactly that I talked about positive memories and I sang old songs and even laughed a little.
After the service I headed to work, we had a decent night it was long and the thought of him lingered everywhere but a Energy drink and a few songs sung out loud later we were telling jokes and giggling again.
It felt so good to smile and laugh. The people I work with are so great and I love everyone of them to pieces, and ever since we lost Eddie I have made it a point to make sure they all know that I care for them.
We aren't promised tomorrow and I don't want any regrets when I go I want to know that all the people I love knew it. I want to live every moment as if it were my last. I want my children to know that Mommy loved them more than life itself.
Okay so enough sappy sadness. It's time to perk up and live life. It's too short as I have been reminded. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a good one.
My little ones are coming back from a week spent with their aunt and I can't wait to hold my babies I have missed them like crazy. I can't wait for the weekend so I can spend all day with them. So I better call it a night and get some sleep!
-Candeh
The service was very nice but all too painful. I believe that the dead can hear us and can feel our love and I believe that Eddie was watching over all of us today as we said our Goodbyes, so for the rest of the night I vowed to try and smile because I know he wouldn't have wanted us all crying and mourning. So I did exactly that I talked about positive memories and I sang old songs and even laughed a little.
After the service I headed to work, we had a decent night it was long and the thought of him lingered everywhere but a Energy drink and a few songs sung out loud later we were telling jokes and giggling again.
It felt so good to smile and laugh. The people I work with are so great and I love everyone of them to pieces, and ever since we lost Eddie I have made it a point to make sure they all know that I care for them.
We aren't promised tomorrow and I don't want any regrets when I go I want to know that all the people I love knew it. I want to live every moment as if it were my last. I want my children to know that Mommy loved them more than life itself.
Okay so enough sappy sadness. It's time to perk up and live life. It's too short as I have been reminded. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a good one.
My little ones are coming back from a week spent with their aunt and I can't wait to hold my babies I have missed them like crazy. I can't wait for the weekend so I can spend all day with them. So I better call it a night and get some sleep!
-Candeh
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
They never look the same.
You know everyone always says at funerals how good the person in the casket looks and most of the time it is a lie. Well today it wasn't any different..
He didn't look really bad he just didn't look like Eddie. He was pale and swollen and cold god his hands were so cold. It wasn't right seeing him there, it was so wrong. I kept expecting him to sit up and smile and say Gotcha! I wish so bad that he would have.
His wife god his poor wife was so upset. She kept crying trying to climb in the casket with him screaming Please wake up Eddie please wake up, she told us that on the way to the hospital before he quit breathing he kept saying don't let me die, don't let me die.
It broke my heart. His smallest child kept asking her Mommy why is daddy so cold? It was heartbreaking. He is only 8 years old and doesn't understand what is happening. We all cried for hours. Even at work tonight all we could do was talk about Eddie and cry more.
I know that Eddie would want us to be okay, and that he wouldn't want us to hurt this way. But it doesn't change that we are and will hurt for a long time. Every time we walk through those shop doors it is a constant reminder of him and all the good times.
He was an exceptional person, he was crazy as hell but exceptional. It was always a good night working with him. He was the type of person that was always making everyone laugh with his dancing and jokes.
I can still feel him grabbing my shoulder and calling me Hun like he did all of us girls. He was our big brother, our friend and he did whatever he could to look out for us, and for that I will always be thankful.
Today was a very hard day and tomorrow will be worse. Tomorrow we put him in the ground forever. I keep reminding myself that he is in a better place looking down on us. If I had to have a guardian angel I am damn glad to have Eddie on my side.
I know it will be a long time before we all recover from losing him, But I have faith that God can heal even the deepest wounds.
Well I am going to attempt to sleep again, I hope to dream of the good times and the fun we all had on the long nights at the shop with the radio cranked up and Eddie dancing away..... He will always be dancing in our hearts. We miss you Eddie.
-Candeh
He didn't look really bad he just didn't look like Eddie. He was pale and swollen and cold god his hands were so cold. It wasn't right seeing him there, it was so wrong. I kept expecting him to sit up and smile and say Gotcha! I wish so bad that he would have.
His wife god his poor wife was so upset. She kept crying trying to climb in the casket with him screaming Please wake up Eddie please wake up, she told us that on the way to the hospital before he quit breathing he kept saying don't let me die, don't let me die.
It broke my heart. His smallest child kept asking her Mommy why is daddy so cold? It was heartbreaking. He is only 8 years old and doesn't understand what is happening. We all cried for hours. Even at work tonight all we could do was talk about Eddie and cry more.
I know that Eddie would want us to be okay, and that he wouldn't want us to hurt this way. But it doesn't change that we are and will hurt for a long time. Every time we walk through those shop doors it is a constant reminder of him and all the good times.
He was an exceptional person, he was crazy as hell but exceptional. It was always a good night working with him. He was the type of person that was always making everyone laugh with his dancing and jokes.
I can still feel him grabbing my shoulder and calling me Hun like he did all of us girls. He was our big brother, our friend and he did whatever he could to look out for us, and for that I will always be thankful.
Today was a very hard day and tomorrow will be worse. Tomorrow we put him in the ground forever. I keep reminding myself that he is in a better place looking down on us. If I had to have a guardian angel I am damn glad to have Eddie on my side.
I know it will be a long time before we all recover from losing him, But I have faith that God can heal even the deepest wounds.
Well I am going to attempt to sleep again, I hope to dream of the good times and the fun we all had on the long nights at the shop with the radio cranked up and Eddie dancing away..... He will always be dancing in our hearts. We miss you Eddie.
-Candeh
Monday, April 27, 2009
Rest In Peace Boss Man.
Today has been a horrible day. I wish so bad I could go to sleep and wake up to learn it was all a dream. This morning I woke up to a phone call from a girl I work with. She told me our friend who was also our boss had passed the night before.
It floored me. The tears came almost instantly. He wasn't just our boss. Our night crew is nine people including him and we were all close. When we had problems or just needed to vent he was there to listen.
I kept praying I was still sleeping and that I would wake up and go to work and we would laugh about me having a dream that he died, but I didn't wake up.
All afternoon at work I caught myself looking out the door at his parking spot waiting for him to pull up in his dented Chevy blaring Rock music, with a Route 44 sonic cup in his hand, wearing those god awful khaki safari shorts showing his white chicken legs as we called them... But I know he won't be pulling up ever again.
I keep telling myself to stop crying but I can't, I have lost a friend and it hurts. And you know what why should I stop crying??? I have a right to cry and curse and be sad and mad dammit and I am going to be.
I am mad that we lost a friend, I am mad that I won't be laughing at his ridiculous dancing at work. I am mad that I didn't get to tell him what a great friend he was and how much we all loved him. I am mad about the ten thousands things I will never get to say to him.
I keep telling myself he is in a better place and that God is taking care of him now, but it's not enough maybe I am selfish but dammit I want my friend back. I want to hear his stupid jokes, I want to watch him dance and sing some ridiculously old rock song that I have never heard in front of the coffee maker on lunch break.
I even want to make those trips across town in Friday traffic to pick up his nasty stinky Veal Parmesan from the Restaurant he loved only to have my car stinking for two days afterwards.
I dread tomorrow. I dread seeing him laying in that casket. I will try and tell myself that's not him, that he is already long gone but I know that when I see him it will be the last thing I remember and I don't want it to be.
I want the last thing to be him laughing his ass off at me outside cutting rags at the shop scared to death the snake would come out from the hole nearby and try to eat me. Even though he had explained that a black racer had nor the size or desire to eat me.
Work was silent we hardly spoke. You could see the tears had worn every ones eyes. We made plans to meet in the morning and go to the funeral home although we all wished we could bring him back with enough wishing and praying.
We have talked about having a party this weekend in his memory a sending off party if you will. We know he would have wanted us to remember him in only the best fashion and we want to make sure we try and do that.
I am exhausted from the crying so I am going to try and get a little sleep if I can. But there is one thing I need to say before I go. Rest in Peace Eddie Dewayne Johnson. We love and miss you, you will always be in our hearts and memories.
-Candeh
It floored me. The tears came almost instantly. He wasn't just our boss. Our night crew is nine people including him and we were all close. When we had problems or just needed to vent he was there to listen.
I kept praying I was still sleeping and that I would wake up and go to work and we would laugh about me having a dream that he died, but I didn't wake up.
All afternoon at work I caught myself looking out the door at his parking spot waiting for him to pull up in his dented Chevy blaring Rock music, with a Route 44 sonic cup in his hand, wearing those god awful khaki safari shorts showing his white chicken legs as we called them... But I know he won't be pulling up ever again.
I keep telling myself to stop crying but I can't, I have lost a friend and it hurts. And you know what why should I stop crying??? I have a right to cry and curse and be sad and mad dammit and I am going to be.
I am mad that we lost a friend, I am mad that I won't be laughing at his ridiculous dancing at work. I am mad that I didn't get to tell him what a great friend he was and how much we all loved him. I am mad about the ten thousands things I will never get to say to him.
I keep telling myself he is in a better place and that God is taking care of him now, but it's not enough maybe I am selfish but dammit I want my friend back. I want to hear his stupid jokes, I want to watch him dance and sing some ridiculously old rock song that I have never heard in front of the coffee maker on lunch break.
I even want to make those trips across town in Friday traffic to pick up his nasty stinky Veal Parmesan from the Restaurant he loved only to have my car stinking for two days afterwards.
I dread tomorrow. I dread seeing him laying in that casket. I will try and tell myself that's not him, that he is already long gone but I know that when I see him it will be the last thing I remember and I don't want it to be.
I want the last thing to be him laughing his ass off at me outside cutting rags at the shop scared to death the snake would come out from the hole nearby and try to eat me. Even though he had explained that a black racer had nor the size or desire to eat me.
Work was silent we hardly spoke. You could see the tears had worn every ones eyes. We made plans to meet in the morning and go to the funeral home although we all wished we could bring him back with enough wishing and praying.
We have talked about having a party this weekend in his memory a sending off party if you will. We know he would have wanted us to remember him in only the best fashion and we want to make sure we try and do that.
I am exhausted from the crying so I am going to try and get a little sleep if I can. But there is one thing I need to say before I go. Rest in Peace Eddie Dewayne Johnson. We love and miss you, you will always be in our hearts and memories.
-Candeh
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