Ben and RSV.

RSV is a very serious virus in mostly premature babies. While older children do get it, it is more like a cold for them, while for Preemies it can as sometimes is a fatal virus.

Ben was diagnosed and moved to another hospital to the ICU unit as I said last time, and he was put on a ventilator. For weeks we were in the ICU and the battle went from bad to worse before it ever got close to good. His lungs collapsed he had pneumonia and staff infection in his lungs from the vent.


It seemed like he was never going to get better he was chemically paralyzed to keep him from fighting the vent and there were days where nurses would surrounded his bed as they watched his heart rate drop ready to do CPR at any moment.

I remember one day standing there watching his heart rate drop so quickly and the nurses began preparing for CPR which they would do at 60 beats per minute.

I couldn't handle it. His heart rate picked back up but It was too late for me I locked myself in the bathroom of the ICU waiting area and cried and before I knew it I was into a full fledged panic attack.

It was the scariest moment of my life. I couldn't breathe and I thought my heart was going to explode. But luckily after what seemed an eternity he got better and went from a shocking 5 pounds to 7 pounds and on Feb 8th we went home.

It wasn't over however. For months after he came home I had to administer Valium for pain and Methadone for his addiction to pain killers he had gained during his suffering. And we had 10 breathing treatments of two different meds a day.

After months and months the doses went down and eventually my little man was healthy and strong and back to normal. I have never been more thankful that the lord was watching down on us. Now Ben is healthy and often goes by the nick name fat boy which is a relief from what we saw all those weeks in the ICU.

While it seems to have a happy ending that all changes shortly after we get home. I would soon find out that while my son laid in his ICU bed half dead and I cried hours on end barely moving from the hospital, he was having an affair with a women from his work. Once again my world would come crashing down......