Rest In Peace Boss Man.

Today has been a horrible day. I wish so bad I could go to sleep and wake up to learn it was all a dream. This morning I woke up to a phone call from a girl I work with. She told me our friend who was also our boss had passed the night before.

It floored me. The tears came almost instantly. He wasn't just our boss. Our night crew is nine people including him and we were all close. When we had problems or just needed to vent he was there to listen.

I kept praying I was still sleeping and that I would wake up and go to work and we would laugh about me having a dream that he died, but I didn't wake up.

All afternoon at work I caught myself looking out the door at his parking spot waiting for him to pull up in his dented Chevy blaring Rock music, with a Route 44 sonic cup in his hand, wearing those god awful khaki safari shorts showing his white chicken legs as we called them... But I know he won't be pulling up ever again.

I keep telling myself to stop crying but I can't, I have lost a friend and it hurts. And you know what why should I stop crying??? I have a right to cry and curse and be sad and mad dammit and I am going to be.

I am mad that we lost a friend, I am mad that I won't be laughing at his ridiculous dancing at work. I am mad that I didn't get to tell him what a great friend he was and how much we all loved him. I am mad about the ten thousands things I will never get to say to him.

I keep telling myself he is in a better place and that God is taking care of him now, but it's not enough maybe I am selfish but dammit I want my friend back. I want to hear his stupid jokes, I want to watch him dance and sing some ridiculously old rock song that I have never heard in front of the coffee maker on lunch break.

I even want to make those trips across town in Friday traffic to pick up his nasty stinky Veal Parmesan from the Restaurant he loved only to have my car stinking for two days afterwards.

I dread tomorrow. I dread seeing him laying in that casket. I will try and tell myself that's not him, that he is already long gone but I know that when I see him it will be the last thing I remember and I don't want it to be.

I want the last thing to be him laughing his ass off at me outside cutting rags at the shop scared to death the snake would come out from the hole nearby and try to eat me. Even though he had explained that a black racer had nor the size or desire to eat me.

Work was silent we hardly spoke. You could see the tears had worn every ones eyes. We made plans to meet in the morning and go to the funeral home although we all wished we could bring him back with enough wishing and praying.

We have talked about having a party this weekend in his memory a sending off party if you will. We know he would have wanted us to remember him in only the best fashion and we want to make sure we try and do that.

I am exhausted from the crying so I am going to try and get a little sleep if I can. But there is one thing I need to say before I go. Rest in Peace Eddie Dewayne Johnson. We love and miss you, you will always be in our hearts and memories.

-Candeh